We’ve all been there – either as authors, or as readers, plowing through a long narrative of information that seems important, but drags the action to a halt. As an author, we want to make sure the reader knows everything we want them to know about a person, a place or an event that we are convinced they need to know. As a reader, we’ve been caught in these narratives wondering when the author is going to get back to the action. Even worse, is when much of all that narrative isn’t even needed. I don’t know about you, but I have a limited amount of time for reading and I’m not eager to waste it reading screeds of stuff I don’t need to know. One of my favorite authors, who wrote one of my most favorite books of all time, has turned into a huge info-dumping writer and I’ve stopped reading her 300 page stories that come packaged in 900 page books.

XX

So, how do we avoid this dreaded info dump?

The first question I ask myself is: “Does the reader really, really need to know this?” This might happen while I’m writing, but more often comes in my first major edit when I realize I’ve got a long narrative information dump. I review all the details revealed and start asking the relevant question about each one. If I am working on a mystery, there might be some details that the reader needs to know. But perhaps not served up on a silver platter all at once, instead of slipped in somewhere so when the mystery is finally solved, they nod their head and think, yeah, that makes sense, now.

XX

Same goes for any genre really. If it’s a romance, the things that make a heroine attracted to a hero are things the reader should see, but not dumped all at once up front, but again, slipped in here and there as the relationship develops. She might take notice of how he treats an old man struggling to make things happen. Or she shakes her head in amazement when she discovers him doing her dishes. Or that he calls his mother every Sunday night just to say hi. There’s nothing wrong with her admiring a healthy and attractive physique either, but that’s not enough to make a real romance happen. It’s the little things that add up as the love story unfolds.

XX

Ditto with an action/adventure. For instance, your hero is claustrophobic. And eventually he’s going to be stuck in a stalled elevator where he’s going to have to control his panic to get the job done. But instead of introducing this fact along with his physical description, what he does for a living, where he lives, who his friends are etc, it just needs to be dropped in along the way so the reader will suddenly feel his angst when that damned elevator stalls. On the other hand, all that info I just outlined – much of that the reader can figure out along the way or doesn’t need to know at all.

XX

As far as the claustrophobia goes. You could explain this critical detail by telling this story. Keith’s big brother Jay hadn’t always been such a great guy. Back when Keith was just seven, Jay thought it would be funny to lock Keith in their bedroom closet. At first it was just dark and scary, but then Jay started teasing him through the door about the spiders he’d seen earlier that week. Then had come the details about how the monsters who live under beds at night spend their days in closets so little boy’s mothers wouldn’t sweep them away with the dust when they cleaned the room. Jay had sort of relented after what felt like hours and slipped a skinny flashlight thingy his mother kept on the refrigerator under the door. Keith had welcomed the light until Jay shoved a page under the door with a story about a little kid who turned into a skeleton because he didn’t eat for days. Then the flashlight had died. And Jay had gone off, leaving Keith still trapped in the closet. It wasn’t even daytime anymore because there was no more hint of light seeping in under the door and the room outside was eerily quiet. By the time Keith’s mother found him, Keith had wet his pants, much to his shame, and he’d had nightmares for years afterward.

XX

What if, instead of the previous info dump, you just said:

XX

Keith was a Navy Seal. He’d been through hell week and survived. He’d been on assignments that would have given most men nightmares for the rest of their lives. He wasn’t afraid of anything. Well, except for small places, thanks to his big brother shutting him a closet for the fun of it. That still gave him nightmares.

XXX

That second option tells the reader just enough to show Keith’s possible Archilles heel, but doesn’t slow the rest of the action down in the telling.

XX

If you’re writing a mystery where the killer is a sweet old lady who everyone agrees wouldn’t hurt a fly, it isn’t necessary to go into her current craze with visiting the local gun range and perfecting her aim with a variety of firearms, along with her prizes in competition. But you might put a small trophy on her mantle that an investigator (law enforcement, PI or just an amateur sleuth) can find and take note of later in the story when things begin to click.

XX

If you’re portraying the oldest sister in a big family who always felt responsible for her siblings, it’s not needed to outline the whole family and why she always felt each of her siblings needed her guidance. Instead, you can just have one of those siblings make a comment at some point along the lines of, “We grew up Sylvia. We don’t need you watching over us every minute anymore.”

XX

How about this passage: Suzie skipped down the sidewalk making sure not to step on any cracks. The old ditty about breaking your mother’s back repeated itself over in her head. Did stepping on a crack really break anyone’s back? She’d never heard of anyone’s mother having a broken back, and she knew plenty of kids who stepped on cracks all the time. It was all nonsense. Black cats didn’t bring bad luck and neither did walking under ladders. It was just stuff people made up to explain things they didn’t know. Besides, Old Mrs. Smith was taking forever to push that walker with the bright green tennis balls on the legs along the sidewalk which gave Suzie plenty of time to consider the whole broken back deal. Finally, out of patience, Suzie took aim and stepped down squarely on the next crack she saw.

XX

This paints a very accurate picture of a kid walking home from school, but is any of it really important to the story? It only becomes important if the old lady with the walker going at a snail’s pace ahead of Suzie suddenly collapses to the ground at the exact moment Suzie steps on that crack. If Suzie just waves to the woman and hurries past her to get home for the snack her mother always leaves out for her, then none of it was important and the same picture could have been painted simply: Suzie skipped, careful not to step on any cracks. She didn’t want to hurt her mother if the old saying was true. Old Mrs. Smith pottered along and Suzie was equally careful not to bump into her as she hurried past.

X

There are some action writers who are clearly in love with guns of all kinds and makes and every single weapon in the story is introduced in mind-boggling detail. For readers who love guns and details about them this is fine, but for most of the rest of us, the details can get tedious and seriously slow the action down. If someone has a pistol aimed at your face, the gaping bore is all you’re going to see and worry about, not the hand packed shells, or the caliber or the manufacturer, or for that matter, if he’s close enough, not even the possible expertise of the person holding you at gunpoint.

XX

Clichés show up in books for a reason – not always warranted as there are often far more entertaining ways of describing something – but they do convey a known quantity. For instance, you can simply state that the German Shepherd’s ears were pricked forward and he was all business. The whole world knows what a German Shepherd looks like and that they are serious working dogs. The AKC definition of his build, looks and abilities don’t need to be enumerated. Or, the approaching storm was heralded by the ominous clouds and the sudden snapping of the flag on a nearby pole.

XX

So, that’s the first thing – determining which of the details are most important. In that last sentence, I could have discussed the growing bank of inky black clouds, the disappearance of the sun, the initial spatters of rain, or someone putting up an umbrella or even the weather report the character had heard the night before, or any of the many signs of an approaching storm. With this one sentence, I’ve put the reader right there in a world he or she has been in before and doesn’t need the lengthy detailed description.

XX

Sometimes all the details do need to be revealed - eventually. But it’s still better to reveal them one or two at a time as needed.

XX

Going back to Sylvia – the bossy older sister. If this is a family saga and all the family will eventually appear, then, maybe the reader does need to know that Edwin had been sickly as a kid and Sylvia always worried about him. And that John would have forgotten his head had it not been firmly attached to his shoulders. Or that Emily seemed to have the worst taste in boys, right from the time she first noticed them through three failed marriages to the piece of work she most recently brought home. But even then, not all of that needs to be dumped in one big narrative at the start of the story. Much of it can be shown (Note that word SHOWN) in actions. She could constantly be reminding John about things in dialog and he can be seen rolling his eyes every time. Edwin is a strapping 6’6” man who clearly works out in a gym, but who takes his big sister’s constant queries about his health in stride and never loses his patience. And it quickly becomes apparent that Sylvia no longer needs to worry about them, it’s just a habit. And that Emily is going to be the one the reader needs to fret over.

XX

Dialog, thoughts, dreams, snatches of memory are all great ways to plant details the reader needs to know without the long narrative passages. Even items, like the sharp-shooter trophy, or a diploma from Harvard on a janitor’s wall can show the reader things they will need to know before the end of the book. My best advice to new writers is to first determine which details really do need to be included and then look for unique ways to show them throughout the story, interspersing them with the action.

XX

Now you surely want to check out the rest of our blog hoppers to see how they handle informing their readers without the “info dump.”

XX

 Anne Stenhouse 

 Connie Vines

 Diane Bator

 Helena Fairfax

 Bob Rich 

Stress in your life – how does it affect your writing, or how do you write despite the stress?

XX

As I write this, I am supposed to be on vacation in a lovely little 200-year-old cottage I rent every summer in Maine. Since I am here for 5 weeks, I have often written the rough draft or most of one for a new book. This year is the exception and I have to admit, it might be stress or just utter distraction while I deal with stressful issues.

XX

It began with no filtered water which also meant no ice cubes. I even had to go out and purchase ice cube trays since the owner just assumes the fridge will make them. The plumber has been twice but still no filtered water and even though I’m pretty flexible, this water tastes brackish so I’ve been purchasing drinking water. Then we discovered the coffee maker leaks faster than it can brew a cup. Add to this, our barbeque had to be cooked inside over the stove when the grill wouldn’t light and gas was leaking when turned on. Yes, I bought a small charcoal grill for the remainder of my stay. If this wasn’t enough, on July 4^th the entire water system failed. The earliest the plumber could come was the next morning it being a holiday… Only plus here is that the ocean is just a couple hundred yards away. Of course, the cottage had no buckets so I had to borrow one half filled with fresh water so we could wash our hands and another to bail sea water to flush toilets with. We even washed our dishes in the sea.

XX

Two days ago, we had a heavy rain storm and guess what? A leak appeared in the living room roof. Good thing I’ve been coming here for years or this might have been the LAST year I came. It turned out the big flood earlier this spring had corroded the connections to the well pump and the plumber was able to fix that issue. The rest the owner will have to deal with later.

XX

If that were my only stress – I might be smiling and still writing, but my car, one I bought used with only 27,000 miles on it last fall, has failed twice to start. DEAD as in not even the dashlights lit but the engine failed to crank. But DEAD. Even my key fob wouldn’t lock or unlock the door. The car is currently still at the dealer while they try to determine what could be draining a perfectly good battery while I’m at the end of this long string of islands with no car. And did I mention the allergies I cope with through the first few months of blooming time in St Augustine only to repeat the process all over again when I get to Maine? Or the fact that four times in the last month I’ve received notice that my gmail account has been found on the dark web and I’ve dutifully followed instructions to change my password, which I’ve done four times. I’ve finally decided to open a paid and more secure email account but it will require a lot of time and effort to migrate everyone over. I keep reminding myself of my son’s mantra, “It’s first world problems, Mom!” I could be dealing with poor health care, no shelter at all, an empty belly and so much more.

XX

So, how does this affect my writing? I’m more than halfway through my time here and have not even reached chapter four of my new book. Concentrating in the midst of coping with each new issue has seriously bitten into my writing time. I have written though. Instead of a coherent narrative that follows a general plot line, I’ve been writing whole scenes that populate in my head while I’m tossing a ball for my dog to chase or walking over the bridge and back with her every afternoon. When life settles down, I’ll write the connecting tissue that ties all the random scenes together. And who knows? I might have more written than I thought.

XX

But there are less obvious ways that stress feeds into our writing. For one, it gives us both ideas and empathy for our characters. Without conflict, aka stress, there is no story so living through any number of stressful situations can give us ideas on how to throw some stress at our characters. And having lived it ourselves, we have a good idea of the different ways they might react and deal with it in their fictional lives. Understanding how different personalities cope with stress helps us to develop a variety of characters who each react in different ways to the same stressors.

XX

Think about all the various professions that require CALM under stress. Doctors and nurses in the ER, cops on the street, firefighters, soldiers, EMTs and others whose calm, clear-headed reaction to the most stressful situations possible might mean life or death for someone. Then there’s the other end of the scale with people who fly off the handle at the least bit of stress. I’m not sure I’d excel at any of the aforementioned careers because I’m the sort who tosses all the pots in my cabinet out on the floor when the specific pot I want seems to be missing. On the other hand, I raised four kids and coached gymnastics so I’ve also been required to be calm under pressure when dealing with an immediate problem. (Which might explain my coping with this summer’s stressors. None of them were immediate or life threatening. But instead, were more stretched out - one thing after another, thus distracting me from my writing.)

XX

Different people react differently to different types of stress. Like my ability to cope with injured and bleeding kids, or a husband fighting cancer, yet totally frustrated by not finding the pot I need to cook the potatoes. One man might be cool as a cucumber at work, whether he’s a stockbroker or a law enforcement officer, yet comes home and loses it when the dog pees on the floor or his kid got an F on a homework assignment he should have aced. A woman who copes with all the stuff raising kids can throw at her yet freaks out when the car has a flat tire. There are also human mental conditions that might influence how a character reacts, like OCD where the individual is calm and levelheaded until disorder appears where they don’t expect it.

XX

So, as we work to create our many characters, both main characters and supporting cast, we need to include all the different human reactions to stress to keep the cast varied and interesting. And, as we all know – no conflict means no story. So, conflict, thus stress is required and the more we personally live through, the bigger our bag of known stressors gets. As authors, we all know that keeping faithful readers faithful is to create fictional characters they can care about. If all goes smoothly in our characters’ lives, there’s not much to root for, and therefore, not much to care about. So, put them all to the test. Stress them out and make your readers care.

XX

I think I’ll go now and call the dealer to see how things are going with my car – and then maybe write another scene or two. Or maybe I’ll just start the lengthy process of getting my new email out there to anyone I care to hear back from. Head on over to see how some of my fellow-blog hoppers deal with stress in their writing lives.

XX

             Judith Copek - http://lynx-sis.blogspot.com/

             Victoria Chatham - http://www.victoriachatham.com

             Anne Stenhouse - http://annestenhousenovelist.wordpress.com

             Helena Fairfax - http://www.helenafairfax.com/blog

Hi everyone - it's June and time for our Writer's Blog Hop again. Today we are going to ask the question: Where do you get your ideas?

XX

Some of the stories I’ve written seem to have come to me out of thin air, but I suspect that really isn’t the case, and they are bits and pieces of my life. Others are far more obvious. I think I’ve shared the genesis of my time travel, but for those who haven’t heard that story, Iain’s Plaid was inspired by a specific personal experience – augmented by my curious writer brain. While I’m not a history nut, spending all my time and reading energy on studying history, I am interested in the history of where I live or travel. For 20 years I lived on the coast of Maine with a view of little island sitting just outside of Boothbay Harbor. I read a book by Bill Caldwell titled, The Islands of Maine – Where America Really Began. His book was talking about the history of European settlement, rather than the native Americans who’d lived here even longer, but I was intrigued to discover that this little island I could see from my front yard had a busy European settlement long before the Pilgrims arrived in Plymouth Mass. In fact, the Mayflower had put in at this island to secure fish to augment their depleted food stores before ending up several hundred miles south. The island, like many in the area, had been abandoned in the mid-20^th century but it still intrigued me and I decided it would be fun to visit and explore. So, off I went, sailing out to do just that.

XX

While there, I stood on a large granite stone, part of the foundation for long gone building, and wondered what that building might have been. It was too big for a house – the houses were all tiny, barely more than garage size by today’s standards. But as I stood there, the granite shifted and I jumped back, not wanting to fall in and get hurt. For any normal person that might have been the end of it. But while I was sailing home, I recalled my pondering about the origins of the foundation and my twisted writer brain decided to ask the question: “What if I had fallen in, hit my head, and woke up in another century?”

XX

That’s where the idea for Iain’s Plaid came from. My heroine did just that – sailed out to explore a long-abandoned island, fell in and hit her head, then woke up in 1775, in the cellar of a warehouse belonging to a man who had a ship filled with contraband he planned to take into British controlled Boston just a few days later. Our country was on the eve of revolution and Iain MacKail was convinced this stranger appearing in his cellar was a British spy.  

XX

My books: Worry Stone and The Candidate (the first became part of a series, the second is a standalone.) were born of experiences of others I knew, mostly my brother, who had once been a soldier in Vietnam and had shared some of his experiences both in the war and later back home. Just knowing his experiences didn’t trigger the premise my stories. Rather, it inspired me to write a story about characters who had gone through a similar experience.  Worry Stone was about an ordinary man who went off when his country called him, then came home to deal with a country that despised him and the unpopular war he represented.  In The Candidate, I decided to use that background as a cauldron for personal turmoil for a man in the middle of running for President. That original idea sort of percolated in my brain during a presidential election year and some of the background came from those tumultuous months, but the story was entirely fictitious and not based on anyone who was running. It was not based on my brother or any other man I knew who had served there, and I have no clear recollection of where the idea for the young man of Asian descent with a picture from my hero’s past came from. By the time I wrote this book, the whole topic of Vietnam had become more visible. Instead of trying to sweep the era under the rug, people had begun to write about our involvement there. So, my premise was an idea born of my reading about the time, a personal dilemma for my hero to deal with that fit the story and the craziness of a presidential campaign year for a backdrop.

XX

One maxim a fledgling writer is always hit with often from all sides is “Write what you know.” This was definitely the source of my idea for Falling for Zoe. My own mother was suffering from Alzheimer’s, I am a mother and had been through the whole teenage years scene. I’d also been left behind when my first husband decided he didn’t want to be a husband and daddy. So, I decided to use those personal experiences for my first romance. Just to make it a little different, I threw all those problems at my hero instead of my heroine. She had her own problem, not one I’d personally lived through, but one easily imagined.

XX

For most of my stories, though, the original nuggets came from asking myself the question, “What If?” In Loving Meg, I asked myself the question, “What if the soldier returning from a war zone was a woman? A wife who was called up unexpectedly and left a husband and children behind?

In Healing a Hero, the question was, what if two people fell in love years ago and were separated through circumstances beyond their control and now they are thrown back together with all the distrust misunderstandings can create? The rest of the books in that series were deliberately created because my acquiring editor wanted a series. Since I’d given the family 5 kids, that was my series connection and each ensuing story involved a different sibling for which I had to just brainstorm ideas for.

XX

When I decided to try writing a mystery, my first stop was to sign up for the Citizen’s Law Enforcement Academy with my local sheriff’s office. Each class focused on a different aspect of law enforcement, from the financial/budget and organization to special units like K-9, SWAT, negotiation, and the day-to-day life of a patrol deputy. Talk about a generator for ideas. Then came the ride-alongs. Getting to spend a whole shift with a deputy or police officer is another way to experience what life is like for the men and women who serve in law enforcement and an eye opener to the crazy things they see and are expected to handle every day. This was a “research” effort on my part to start with, but it planted so many thoughts and ideas along the way, each of which could be the basis for a whole new plot. Check out Bullseye and Crossfire.

XX

One of my sources for ideas for new stories is my writing group – there are four of us and we call ourselves the Sandy Scribblers. We used to meet once a month at a local library but then Covid happened and the meetings moved to Zoom where they’ve stayed. We all write in different genres but I often think this is a plus because that helps to push the edges of the envelop for all of us. Sometimes we might be putting together a whole new book idea and we start with the author’s nugget of an idea and throw ideas into the ring. While the author might not use all the ideas, just tossing them out there triggers responses and tweaks and the author takes home all this home to ponder on and choose what works and what doesn’t. This same process is great for when one of us has a sagging middle issue. We outline where we are and what’s not working out and the rest of the group puts forth ideas and possible fixes. Often we will send out a synopsis for an idea or a story half written before the meeting so other members of the group have time to consider the problems and maybe come up with solutions. It’s an excellent resource for ideas and for fine-tuning ideas. The best part of the meetings is the energy created and we all come out of the meeting excited about what we are doing and renewed momentum.

XX

Recently I’d just completed a first draft and was doing my first major edit for the first book in a brand new series and realized that half my story was nothing but a puff piece with little conflict going on. My son and I had discussed the plot back when I was about halfway through the book and he tossed an idea out there that I completely dismissed. It was a romance set during WWII and the “hero” of the story decided to enlist and put his wedding off until he returned. My son suggested he never come home. I’d tossed the idea because it was a romance and you don’t kill off the hero. But now I saw the holes and weakness of my plot and my son’s off the cuff suggestion came back to me. I revisited my original premise, and asked that trusty question, “What if Jeff didn’t come home?” I considered all the possibilities. My son intended that he be KIA, but as I began to rewrite the story, more ideas came to me. How to make him more of a jerk and someone else, unexpectedly turn out to be the hero of the story. As I wrote more ideas came to me, each feeding off something I’d tried earlier. Bottom line – the finished story was so much better than the original. It had more power, more emotion, and was far more compelling.  I guess my advice here is: Don’t discount ideas that seem totally incongruous, rather, keep them simmering while you write and let the plot thicken. As with all the ideas thrown out by my Scribbler buddies, much of this will never end up in your story, but it can trigger other thoughts, plot twists and events that make the story far better than the original premise was.

XX

BTW, the idea for the new series was triggered by a new reader. A lady who borrowed the first book of my previous romance series, loved it, and went out to buy the remaining 6 books. Then she found me on FB and discovered I was summering in Maine in a place she had often gone as a kid so we began to compare notes about what she remembered and what that unique little place was like today. In the end, she asked me why I didn’t write a new series set there. Once that seed was planted, it flourished and here I am working on book two in that new series set on Bailey Island, Maine. While this lady didn’t give me a plot idea, she gave me challenge to find a plot in a place that is a character all by itself.

XX

My last bit of advice on where any writer can start generating ideas is people watching. Even if you never get a bolt of lightning that triggers an entire plot, watching people will flesh out your characters and give you vignettes that add realism, humor and fun to your stories. Grocery stores, restaurants, airports, trains, city streets, shopping for school clothes, picking kids from daycare, hospital ERs, little league fields, golf courses – the list is endless and the people you see there from all walks of life, from toddlers to old geezers. And you never know when one of those small slices of life can blossom into an entire novel.

XX

Now that you’ve traveled down my idea road, check out how these other authors find ideas for their stories.

XX

Connie Vines

Diane Bator

Anne Stenhouse
Helena Fairfax

Judith Copek

Dr. Bob Rich

In today's Round Robin Blog we will talk about using the senses to put your readers right into the heart of your stories.

For several years now, I’ve been judging a great writing contest that I believe in because you don’t just fork over your money and submit your work, then either win or not. Instead, whether published or unpublished, you get the rubrics with your scores in ten different areas of importance and comments or suggestions. No writer on the planet knows everything so even a multi published author might glean a new hint or idea, and unpublished, aspiring writers find out what worked and what didn’t work so they can go back to polish the piece before submitting it for publication. One of those areas of discussion is description, so I’ve had a few months now of reading a variety of new and not so new author’s work and experiencing how they have put me into the scene to experience what their characters are experiencing.

xxxxxXX

One of the biggest problems I see with some writers (some that are already published even) is the desire to see everything, and thus the temptation to write in the Omniscient point of view. Omniscient can be a great point of view when well done, but far too often, the reader is left feeling like they are watching a movie rather than experiencing it. TV and movie producers are careful to set the scene authentically, but the big problem is that you are outside watching, no matter how well done. The advantage of a book is the reader can “feel” like he or she is smack dab in the middle of the action. It is the difference between telling and showing, which we’ve discussed before. Telling doesn’t engage the reader as completely as showing.

xx

What a movie or television show cannot do is make you FEEL what is going on. You can’t feel the heat of a raging fire, or the frigid cold of a blizzard. You can’t smell the salty tang of fog, or the sweet scent of flowers. You can see the wind pulling at a character’s hair or clothes, but you can’t feel it. The senses we are all most aware of are: Smell, taste, hearing, vision/seeing, touch and also pain. There are two more that can come into play that we often overlook: Proprioception and vestibular. Proprioception is our awareness of our bodies in space. This sense is what causes your stomach to lurch when the elevator begins an abrupt descent, or the feeling of gravity, which most of us don’t pay much attention to unless we are piloting an airplane doing crazy maneuvers or living at the space station. Vestibular is another one we mostly ignore and that’s an awareness of how our bodies move, a heart racing in fear or perhaps our stomach growling with hunger. For this blog we will just address the first five.

zz

It's easy to “tell” the reader that the air is crisp with the arrival of a winter wind. We might even tell the reader that our character shivered with the sudden cold. But the reader will feel that better if we put them in the scene: for instance: She hunched her shoulders as a blast of icy air shoved its way down her collar and every muscle in her body trembled at the intrusion. Can’t you just feel your own shoulders tensing in sympathy?

zz

Likewise, we could tell the reader that the scent of fall was in the air, with piles of burning leaves in the gutters as families raked up the colorful masses from their front lawns. Or we could suggest that: Colin’s eyes smarted as a gust of wind blew the smoke into his face. We’ve all experienced such an event, maybe not with fall leaves, but around a campfire, or watching a controlled burn, or a house fire, so we sympathize with Colin. We know how it felt.

zz

We could say Sam fell hard and bit his tongue, tasting the blood. But what if we told it like this? Sam slammed down on the ice. It had been years since he’d last gone ice skating and he’d forgotten how hard ice was, or how shocking the blow to a tailbone that came abruptly in contact with it. Then the coppery taste of his own blood told him he’d bit his tongue as well. Which of these two descriptions puts you into the scene best?

xx

How about, her lover’s touch was gentle, almost too gentle, as opposed to: his fingers traced a shivery line from her chin down to the tip of her breast, setting off tiny flares of desire that made her ache for more.

xx

x

xx

Who knew the cymbals would be right behind my head when the player clashed them together with a loud reverberation? Or: It felt like the damned cymbals were inside my head, crashing into my brain and echoing out through my ears.  

Another sound most of us can relate to is that of a crashing car. An author taking the easy way out might say the speeding truck smashed into the parked car with a sickening crunch of metal on metal. But a good writer might get into the down and dirty with: No way that kid in the speeding truck could have lived through that sick sounding collision with the parked car. Screeching tires burned hot against brakes applied too late. Metal scraped against metal gouging deadly gashes along the way. Then came the splintering shatter of breaking glass, a hiss of steam venting from the overtaxed engine and finally the dead silence when all motion stopped. Of course, the writer could go on to add the smell or sight of the crash.

xx

And never forget the "little" sounds that set the scene. The gentle eddy of water along the shore of a lake. The crickets chirping on a walk home in the dark. The sizzle of bacon frying. The drip of faucet your character has been meaning to fix but never gets around to, or the creak of unoiled hinges. The cluck of hens on a farm, or the coo of pigeons in the city. The constant sound of traffic sets the scene near a highway. If there are horns tooting, perhaps it's a city. In the country, it's the lack of all those sounds - a quiet that lets the sound of the crickets be heard. It's those little sounds we grow so used to hearing we fail to notice them until they stop that set the reader firmly in that place and time.

zz

Smell might be one of the harder senses to show the reader. We’ve all read about the sweet smell of roses, but what IS that sweet smell. We all know what chocolate chip cookies smell like, too. But how to describe a scent. One of my high school English teacher asked us to describe a scent in 500 words for his first homework assignment. I honestly wish I still had a copy of that paper. I got an A+ after being certain I’d fail. I described the scent of sheets fresh off the line. Of course, in today’s world not many American’s could relate to that anyway given we all shove our sheets in dryers and the only scent is whatever the dryer sheet we add has been imbued with. Romance writers love to describe a hero’s cologne as having a musky odor. In all honestly, that doesn’t really turn me on, but it takes all kinds, I guess. Telling about an odor would use words like acrid, pungent, sweet, putrid, minty, or flowery, so showing a scent requires more comparison. The smell of fresh baked bread might be yeasty, but if you’ve never smelled yeast, or fresh baked products raised with yeast, that kind of leaves you with a big blank. But how about this? The kitchen had a clean, slightly sweet, yeasty aroma that somehow smelled warm, like you were inhaling a blanket on a cold winter day. Chocolate chip cookies might have a sweet, sugary, vanilla scent overlaid with rich hints of chocolate that always made your mouth water. Rain might have an earthy smell to it. Fog might have a damp, salty tang. And a campfire might have hints of pine in the smoke.

   xx

And then there’s pain. In the ER they always want you to describe your pain on a scale of 1 to 10. But there are so many variations. To just tell a reader that his head ached, or his stubbed toe throbbed, is telling. How about if the author told you his headache felt like those cymbals crashing inside? Or if it felt like his head was in a vice? Or it hurt so bad he thought his eyeballs must be bulging? Does that give you a better idea just how much his head hurt? Or that toe that throbbed. If the writer instead told it like this: “God damn it!” Damned box in the wrong place. I’m going to kill that kid for leaving it there. I hopped on the other foot, unable to put weight on my injured toe for several minutes and even then the stabbing pain shot up my leg like a knife.

zz

It is always important to set the scene with great description and most authors get this. We are great at describing a dark and spooky cemetery or the clatter and bustle of the hallway in a school when the bell rings with images that bring the scene to the reader’s mind. But adding the senses draws them right into that noisy hallway with chattering classmates, the crash of books in lockers, locker doors being slammed shut, the scent of someone’s week old gym shorts when a locker is opened. The same goes with the cemetery, with the creak of bare branches rattling or scraping together, long inky dark shadows crossing your path, or the hoot of an owl. The next time you consider doing it the easy way, ask yourself, do I want to tell the reader what it looks, smells, feels, sounds or tastes like, or do I want to find a way to make those senses come to life for them?

zzz

Anne Stenhouse 

Connie Vines

Helena Fairfax 

Bob Rich

Our April Round Robin Blog Hop asks the question: What is your favorite point of view to write or read and why?

What advantages might 1^st person, 3^rd person limited or 3^rd person omniscient POVs have? What disadvantages?

XX

Point of View is a critical piece of all writing, fiction and non-fiction. The only time I’ve see 2^nd person POV, however is in instructions. As in: First you want to remove the cover, then you will see . . . Sometimes I guess it might appear in things like travel guides. “Be sure you don’t miss walking right up to the protective fence and looking down into the Grand Canyon to get the full effect.” Or, “If you arrive after dark, be sure you get the correct camp site. There will be numbers at each site . . .” Most non-fiction is in 3^rd person, but fiction can be in 1^st, 3^rd limited or 3^rd person omniscient. In other words, WHO is telling the story? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each?

XX

I’m going to start with 3^rd person Omniscient because it’s my least favorite. Here we have a narrator telling the story. The only advantage is that the author and reader can see into other heads and know what all the characters are thinking. Like God, way above the fray but looking down and knowing what everyone is doing at the same time. But the downside to this is that it distances the reader from the characters because it removes the immediacy of emotion. The reader is not looking at the world through the eyes of any specific character, thus the reader never gets close to the character. Another disadvantage is that it takes away some of the suspense. If the reader knows what everyone is up to, it removes the unknown and takes away some of the adventure and suspense. Another thing that authors who write in omniscient point of view tend to do is use phrases like, “little did he know . . .” or “It would be the last thing he ever saw.” Now the surprise is totally taken out of the picture because the reader already knows what’s coming next. No need to dive right into the next chapter because the there’s no suspense left. 3^rd person Omniscient is very like the difference between SHOWING the reader what’s happening and TELLING them. Telling is less immediate. Less emotional. I’m old enough that I remember when news reporters told us the news without a slant. I had NO idea Walter Cronkite had a liberal point of view because he just told us what happened. No embellishment, no emotion, no opinion. Just the facts.

XX

Often an author will show more than one character’s POVs in different chapters or scenes – this isn’t what 3^rd person omniscient is. Let’s suppose the story is told first from Joe’s point of view, where he is eager to propose to Mary. He’s wearing her favorite shirt and putting on cologne which he usually doesn’t wear, so the reader senses how important this is for him and can’t wait for her to say yes. But then the author lets the reader into Mary’s head and she’s trying to figure out how to let Joe down easy, or she’s thinking of a different man and now the reader is heartbroken for Joe and wondering how this is going to work out. Or maybe the reader understands that Mary is sorry she knows she’s going to hurt him, but she just doesn’t love him that way. Seeing this issue from inside the two main characters’ heads puts the reader right there, feeling what they are feeling and closer than someone like God telling it from above. This distance is why I personally don’t enjoy either writing or reading in omniscient. I want to be in love, feel fear, triumph, sadness etc. I want to be IN the head and heart of the character. I want to be as surprised by what’s coming next as the character is.

XX

So, that leaves us with 3^rd person limited and 1^st person. Most writers seem to prefer 3^rd person limited. Limited simply means you tell only one point of view at a time, but from the character’s level rather than the narrator who sees all. You can only see, think, feel or hear what that character is seeing, thinking, feeling or hearing. That’s 3^rd person limited. Now the text would read: Joe put on Mary’s favorite shirt. She always told him his blue eyes looked bluer with that shirt and tonight he needed everything on his side. He added after shave that he thought she might like and took one last look at himself in the mirror. “Okay,” he said to himself. “Time to get it done.”

XX

In 1^st person this might read: I put on the blue shirt that Mary always told me made my eyes look bluer. I figured she just liked blue shirts, but tonight I hope it’s because she loves my blue eyes. I’d loved that woman from the moment I met her, and I pray she feels the same. I dabbed on some aftershave I thought she’d like too and gave my reflection one last check in the mirror. “Okay,” I muttered. “Time to get it done.” So, maybe I did add a bit more emotion here, but the reader gets the idea – Joe is going to be heartbroken if she doesn’t say yes, and they are as invested in her answer as he is. Even if the author never lets you into Mary’s point of view, there’s a bit of suspense here.

XX

I enjoy reading both 3^rd person limited and 1^st, but if I have a favorite, I’d have to admit to liking 1^st person best. It feels more immediate. I AM that character, feeling, seeing, experiencing all the things the character is feeling, seeing and experiencing. But that’s just me and 3^rd person limited can draw the reader in just as firmly. The biggest disadvantage of 1^st person is that you never get into the head of other characters (in most cases – more about that later.) It takes a really skilled writer to let the reader think and feel what non point of view characters are feeling, or thinking. One my all-time favorite books (long before the series on Starz and who doesn’t love Sam Heughan?) is Outlander. Diana Gabaldon told that story in the first book of the series entirely in 1^st person from Claire’s point of view, but she was a master at revealing Jamie’s thoughts and emotions via ‘tells’ that Claire grew to know well. He had a habit of tapping a finger against his thigh when he was agitated or in disagreement for example. And the dialog also revealed much of what was going on in his head. As the series got longer and the cast of characters longer Gabaldon began to add other points of view, but that first book was a master of how to write 1^st person and still let the reader in on other character’s feelings, experience and thoughts.

X

3^rd Person limited Point of view is the more common option and perhaps a little easier to write. And, well done can draw the reader in just as firmly as 1^st person does, but for all the point of view characters, not just the main character. The disadvantage here, is actually less a disadvantage as a pitfall new writers often fall into – Head-hopping. Most authors change points of view when a scene or chapter changes and stay in that person’s head for the duration. About the only time this really needs to switch is if it’s a romance. And then only in a really critical scene like the first time they make love. The reader is eager to know how both parties are reacting to this life changing event, but it has to be done carefully so the reader is pulled into the other head without realizing it. If the change is abrupt or feels wrong, the reader will be scratching their head and stopping to go back and see who was feeling, or thinking this particular emotion or thought. Head-hopping, the pitfall, is when the author constantly jumps from one head to the other and the reader is never sure who’s thinking or feeling what. It jerks the reader out of the story trying to figure it out. And jerking the reader out of the story is never good. It also tends to distance the reader from either character much like 3^rd person omniscient does. Head hopping is not just thought or emotion, but also action.

XX

Example: Joe went down on one knee in spite of the old football injury that still hurt sometimes. This is how it’s supposed to be done, and he was determined to do it right. Crunch time. How to say this without sounding trite?” Mary sighed, not sure how to break it to this man kneeling in front of her. “Will you marry me?” His hopeful look said it all. Joe’s heart thundered in his ears. Amazing that Mary couldn’t hear it trying to pound its way out of his chest.

XX

In this paragraph we start in Joe’s POV, and then hop to Mary’s, then back to Joe, to Mary and finally back to Joe. The comment, how to say this without sounding trite could have been either Joe or Mary, but I wrote it as Mary trying to rehearse in her head how to say no without sounding trite. Then Joe asks her to marry him. Definitely Joe’s line and should have been in a new paragraph to start with. But there’s no way Joe can see his own face so the next line ‘His hopeful look . . .” is in Mary’s POV. Then we are back in Joe’s head experiencing his angst with his heart pounding. All this back and forth leaves the reader confused about who’s thinking or feeling what and stopping to read back to see if they can orient themselves again. Pulling the reader from the story, as I mentioned before, is the last thing an author wants to do.

XX

One last thing I’d like to add before sending you off to see what other authors think about the whole Point of View question. There are a few writers who have done both 1^st and 3^rd limited in the same story. I just recently tried it with the first book in my new series. A whole new challenge but I was happy with the result. I’m sure when I sit down to start my first round of edits I’ll find a raft of mistakes, but that’s what edits and rewrites are for. In this novel, I have two stories being told. The first is in the present day and my heroine is my main character. I’ve told her part in 1^st person. The other main character in the present time is Sam. (It is a romance so there is a hero of course.) I’ve told his chapters Sam’s 3^rd person limited point of view. The second story is historic and told partly from the heroine’s point of view in 3^rd person limited and partly through the letters sent home to her from the hero who is fighting in Europe in WWII. I preface every chapter with a heading. Kenzie – Present Day, Sam – Present Day or Hannah 1943 (44, 45 and 46) In this way the reader knows right at the start whose point of view they are seeing this chapter from and I don’t deviate, so I never lose the reader along the way. Telling two stories in two eras necessitated me having a chapter heading to orient the reader anyway.

X

Now I’m going to send you off to see what my Round Robin Blog Hoppers offer on the subject.

X

Bob Rich -

Connie Vines

Diane Bator

Helena Fairfax

Victoria Chatham

Research is an important part of writing, both non-fiction and fiction. For most writers of non-fiction it isn’t even questioned – you are writing about real places, real people, real events, or real stuff so you need to make sure all your facts are correct. Even if you’re writing a memoir  – no one’s memory is perfect enough that you wouldn’t have to check at least a few facts during the writing. And since no one ever knows every minute detail even when you’re living through events, then writing about anything current would require some research. And for anything in the past, then historical research would be a must.

XX

But for fiction, I have, unfortunately read novels with a great premise, awesome characters and an engaging plot, only to be constantly turned off by details I know are wrong. Maybe someone wrote a story set in Boston but never mentions Faneuil Hall, the Ducklings or the Swan boats? Or one set in farm country that included city sewers and water. Sometimes it’s little stuff, like a book I read recently that talked about getting into and out of a kayak like it was a barge. Well, I’ve been in a kayak – they are tippy as hell and there’s a knack for getting in and out, that wouldn’t have taken the author that much researching to learn, even if he’d never done it himself. Revolvers do not leave shell casings behind so a mystery writer who includes them would be scoffed at.

XX

If you’ve never been on a ranch, but want to write a romance set on one, take the time to either visit one or read about them. If you want to include a real location in your story, then visit the place – best done in person, but with the ease of the internet, then at least visit it that way. Find out what the local teams are that the locals root for. Find out if all kids ride busses or perhaps some still walk to school. Look up the name of the area hospitals, hotels, grocery chains, theaters, the area newspaper, closest airport etc. Places are easy to research and if you have faithful readers who live in those places, they will be very upset to find stuff that doesn’t fit. Google maps makes it a piece of cake to get the logistics, street names, highways, bodies of water and anything else that makes the place real.

XX

I did mention, visiting in person was preferable – that’s for a lot of reasons. Some are just the “feel” of the place. I have never been to New Orleans, but if I were ever to write a book set there, I would most definitely spend some time there because everything I’ve read or heard about the city tells me the place has a very distinct vibe. Other times it’s familiarity with things you might not even think about. My contemporary romance series is set in a fictional coastal city in North Carolina roughly between Wilmington and Camp LeJeune. So, I did visit the area for a few days. I drove along the shore and when I saw a man trimming his lawn, I stopped to ask about the tides and the wind etc. Where I grew up in Mass, and later lived, in Maine, the tides were 9 ½ feet between high and low. Here in St Augustine, they are less than 5 feet, so I wanted to know what they were like in this part of North Carolina. Did they get northeast blows very often. How harsh were the winters? The man was happy to chat with me and gave me more information than I’d asked for. Driving by the entrance to the Wilmington airport, I decided to check it out as I’d already written a scene where my hero was waiting for his military wife to arrive, and he watched her legs appear as she rode down the escalator. Turns out the Wilmington airport does not have an escalator. It’s all on one level. Oops! I’d have had that wrong and certainly someone would have noticed. Since there was no escalator for her to appear on, I walked right up to the exit for the secure area to see as much as I could of what my hero might see while waiting. TSA being what it is, a uniformed officer immediately approached to warn me that I couldn’t go there, so I explained why I had walked right up to the exit, and he immediately explained what it looked like just beyond what I could see. Then he directed me to the information desk where two lovely ladies filled me in with tons of details about the airport, the city, the river, local everything and handed me a fistful of flyers about hotels, restaurants, events, museums, and points of interest. I took a whole extra day checking out the places they told me were not to be missed. It was more than worth that little detour to check out a small airport. And as my series grew from that initial book, I was able to include Wilmington with realistic details because I’d been there. I still used Google Maps and the internet from time to time, but the feel of the small, friendly city was something I’d experienced.

XX

When I set out to write a mystery, I signed up for the Citizen’s Law Enforcement Academy. Not only did I learn a lot, like a zillion times more than you see on TV about how local law enforcement operates, I got to go on ride-alongs with deputies on duty and see with my own eyes, the reality of the job. Not only did this give me ideas for my stories, as well as erase images that aren’t all that realistic, but it gave me access to deputies who were willing to answer any question that came up while I was writing. They tell us to ‘write what you know.’ But unless you only write one or two books, eventually your protagonists need to branch out into other areas of life, work and hobbies. Almost everyone I’ve approached to ask about their jobs or the milieu in which they work has been happy to share and some even let you shadow them. Want to write a teacher? Spend a day or more in a classroom. Visit a museum and follow the docent on their daily round. They are fountains of information. Hang out in an airport, a fire station, the mall or an ER, paying attention to the many different types of employees, how they do their jobs and how the public interacts with them. Some might call it people watching, but it’s really research for a writer looking to get the details realistic and right.

XX

My first books were written long before the internet existed and much of the research was done in libraries. The internet makes it easy. But even with the internet, librarians can be a major source of finding just the right details to make your fictional worlds come to life. Of course, there can also be a downside to the internet. The first to be wary of is MISinformation. Doublecheck everything. The other for people me, is that it can be like going down the rabbit hole. I can get lost in a dictionary. Just looking up one word, but the page is full of words, and I tend to poke around. My vocabulary grows, but I spend more time there than intended. Which is how researching on the internet works for me. I look up one thing and there are links to dozens of other things, all of which just HAVE to be checked out. Good thing I’m retired, and I can afford to get lost checking out the bottomless pit of links.

XX

I am currently writing a story, actually two stories intertwined set on Bailey Island Maine. One of the two stories is set current time. I spend several weeks there every summer and I lived in Maine for 20 years, but I still find things I need to check: the name of the assisted living home in nearby Brunswick, or is a particular restaurant open in the winter, what are the hours of the big super Walmart or my favorite local candy story. But the other story is set during WWII. So many little details to check out. I’d seen an image of thousands of soldiers crowding the deck of the RMS Queen Mary bringing American soldiers home when the war in Europe ended. Of course, I wanted to include that in the ending for my story, thus I had to make sure WHAT port that ship came to and when, how many times and how many men would have been aboard. Just an FYI – RMS Queen Mary still holds the all-time record for the number of people ever carried on any vessel: 16,683 souls on board, 15,740 American soldiers and 943 crewmembers.

XX

While this story is basically a romance, the hero was a soldier in Europe and his letters were how his story is told. I had to research how long it took letters to reach home or even IF they did. Another neat fact I learned was that early on, the US figured out how to reduce thousands of letters to microfiche and send them home by air, to be recreated in the states and delivered to their respective recipients far quicker than by ship. You see what I mean about the rabbit hole? But I also had to relearn details long forgotten from my history lessons about who, what, where and when things happened in Europe and how much Americans knew at the time. I have a few remaining ration stamps in my baby book from after the war (Yes, I’m a baby boomer) so I needed to know more about rationing and life on the homefront. So many details I needed to know to make that story come to life and put my readers into that long ago world. Because my grandmother always called her backyard vegetable plot, her ‘victory garden’ I knew that women planted them, but what else did they do to help the war effort. Because my mom worked in a machine shop while my dad was off in the service, I also knew that for the first time in history, women were taking jobs left behind by the men who went to fight. I did not know that women all over the country were knitting socks and scarves to send to men fighting in the depths of winter or that observation towers were constructed to watch for German U-boats off our shores. It’s obvious that anyone who writes historical novels needs to do the research, no matter how much they think they know, but……

XX

EVERYONE should be researching to get the details right. Your readers care….

XX

Check out the rest of our Round Robin crew to see how they view researching for their writing:

XX

Victoria Chatham 

Diane Bator 

Anne Stenhouse 

Dr. Bob Rich 

Connie Vines 

Helena Fairfax 

It’s February and here we all are at the Round Robin Blog Hop to discuss GMC. You ask, what’s GMC? Well, it’s the backbone of all fiction writing from flash fiction to lengthy novels and includes all genres. Boil it down to easy to understand – What does the protagonist want? (Goal) Why does he or she want it? (Motivation) and What’s stopping him from attaining it? (Conflict.)

XX

It's this last bit that makes the story a page turner. In my journey as an author, I learned this concept from several authors with successful writing careers. I also have an exellent book written by a friend and editor that spells the whole concept out for readers of all levels of experience. Check out Goal, Motivation & Conflict by Debra Dixon - it's an excellent reference for your writer's shelf.

XX

Consider this example: If Jackie wants and ice cream, because he loves ice cream and his grandfather gave him money to get some, that’s goal and motivation. If the truck just happens to have stopped out front of his house and he dashes to the street, tells the man what he wants, hands over the money, and walks away with his ice cream there is no conflict. Nothing to write about.

XX

But what if he wants an ice cream and the truck is there, but he has no money? Or what if he has the money and has been waiting for the truck to come, but for some reason, it never came that day? Or what if he runs to the truck and trips and falls and the cash he’d been clutching in his hand rolled down the storm drain? NOW there is a story. What is Jackie going to do now?

XX

In that scenario, there is little Jackie can do to change some of the problems. He can’t crawl into the drain to retrieve his coins that disappeared into the water. And he can’t make the truck magically appear if it did, indeed, skip his street that day. But no money to start with might offer some solutions if he wants an ice cream bad enough. He could ask his dad if he’d give him the money. He might ask his mom if there is any chore she’d like done that he could do to earn the money. He could steal it out of his big sister’s purse. Or he could check the the floor around the driver’s seat in his grandfather’s truck because he knows his grandfather is always losing change out of his pocket. The choices he makes and the effort he expends to gain his goal is the story.

XX

This is true of any genre. In a romance there are two protagonists who each have their personal goal and a reason for wanting it, and something in their way. But being a romance, this means the goals may be frustrated by the other character’s conflicting goal. He sees her and wants a date. But she’s been hurt and is reluctant to get involved with anyone. So, what is he going to do to change her mind and get her to say yes to a date? Maybe neither one of them is looking for someone to love. Both may have been hurt and built walls around their hearts. This is what is called the “inner” conflict. But there’s usually an outer conflict that is going to toss these two people together often enough, that they end up falling in love despite their initial reluctance. This outer conflict often includes opposing goals. Think of all the Hallmark movies you’ve ever seen. A common theme often includes one or the other trying to keep a family business going and the other one is trying to buy out the property for something that will kill the family business. That conflict is what needs to be resolved before they can have their happy ever after, and it’s what makes the story.

XX

Consider a police procedural – the detective is called in to figure out who was responsible for the dead body. Goal – find the killer, Motivation – that’s their job, Conflict – there are dozens of possibilities as evidenced by the long running police procedurals on TV and in written fiction. No ID for the dead body? No fingerprints or DNA left behind by the killer. Traffic and security cameras catch just a glimpse of the perp, who happened to be aware enough to never show his face. The detective has a handy person of interest who happens to have a good reason to kill, and no alibi, but turns out to be innocent and now the trail has gone cold to the real killer. The conflicts are endless and in real life many murders never get solved.

XX

I could go on with other genres, but I think you get the idea. If there is no conflict, there is no story. To keep your reader turning pages, you need to keep them guessing, which means not giving away the resolution until the very last page. Some stories might be easy for a reader to guess how the main conflict might get resolved, so now the author needs to throw twists into the story – smaller conflicts that pop up to thwart the hero. Think of the Jack Reacher stories. We all know Reacher is going to win in the end and any fight he gets into he’s going to trounce the other guy, but along the way, he just seems to keep running into one conflict after another. He’s always minding his own business and his main goal is to just stay mobile and enjoy life and travel to different places. Yet he always seems to run into someone who’s struggling with something or a victim or someone caught up in an unfair fight. Being Reacher, his sense of fair play is his conflict. He can’t just ignore what he’s seen. He feels compelled to get involved and fix their problem, which now becomes his problem. If it’s a war story, there is always the enemy to defeat but that enemy is never as clueless as the characters on Hogan’s Heroes, and their plots, plans, and firepower become the conflict for our heroes. A spy story – pretty much the same. Pick a genre – ther’s always a conflict that needs to be overcome or resolved.

XX

A story doesn’t always have to have a happy ending or a satisfying resolution. Consider Romeo and Juliette. Or Gone With the Wind. In the first neither party finds their happy ending, and both commit suicide rather than submit to their families' rivalries. In Gone With the Wind, Scarlett loves Ashley and wants him to return her love, but he’s in love with someone else. GWTW does not have the ending Scarlett wants and she even alienates Rhett who does love her. Who doesn’t remember his big line: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” But, it’s those conflicts that make the stories memorable.

XX

If this entire concept has never occurred to you before, consider your favorite book of all time and ask yourself: What did my favorite character want? Why did he want it? And Why couldn’t he have it? I’m sure you’ll be able to answer all three questions and it was in resolving that last question that the book entertained and became a favorite.

XX

Want another take on GMC – check out my fellow Round Robin Blog Hoppers”

Dr. Bob Rich  

Anne Stenhouse 

Victoria Chatham 

Connie Vines 

Helena Fairfax  

Diane Bator 

To start off 2024 on our Round Robin Blog Hop, we thought we’d share ideas on what kind of giveaways or sales have worked best for us as authors and what hasn’t worked. I am eagerly looking forward to checking out fellow blog hoppers experiences because I’m not sure I have a way to measure my successes or lack of. For outright advertising, I’ve tried Facebook promotions, where you can put out small amounts rather than figures in the $100s, but I've had no measurable results I could see. My publisher, however, with their clout, has invested in BookBub and other places that do have measurable results, but the costs for indy authors might be too steep. So, if outright advertising isn’t an option, do free books and giveaways work?

XX

Years ago, before I was ever published, I began to attend conferences and writer’s meetings to learn from others how the craft itself was done. I hesitate to mention how long ago that was, but it was a lot of years. To this day, I have a small nail file/emery board on my desk, which I still use. Printed on one side is the name and website of the author who gave them away at my very first conference. Surely not every bit of swag stays around that long, but I wonder . . . I visited that author’s site and I purchased a few of her books. So, that particular file did equate to a sale. I wonder how many other sales came from those files? Even if, all that little piece of swag did was to get the person who picked it up to visit the website, that would seem to be a win as well. It’s the first step toward a purchase. Perhaps the visitor to the website signed up for the author’s newsletter and that might lead to a sale in the future. In today’s world, it’s all about driving traffic to your website where you presumably have your books on display with links to purchase.

XX

On my website, in addition to a page with all my books and buy links, I have a page where I offer short stories. Free. If someone reads one or more of those stories and likes it, then perhaps they'll check out the book page to see if any of my novels appeal to their reading preferences. So, do free books work?

XX

Last summer one of my faithful readers loaned a paper copy of the first book in my romance series to a friend of hers – a woman I have never met. Turned out that friend loved Falling for Zoe so much, she went online and bought the whole series – in print. That’s 8 more books. I know about that sale because that new reader found my website and then contacted me on Facebook. Which leads me to wonder how many other sales might I have made because someone found, won, or borrowed a book of mine and liked it enough to see what else I might have out?

XX

I gave my son a copy of the first of my books to be published. He took it when he and his wife went camping in Acadia Maine, and was sad when he finished it for two reasons. One: he loved the story and didn’t want it to end, and two: because he didn’t have another book to read (before everyone had a half dozen ebooks on their phones.) I asked, surely a campground like Acadia had one of those book shelves where you could trade one book for another. He said no, of course not - I’d signed it for him. I shook my head, “Oh, Alex, I’d have given you a new copy in a heartbeat. You just never know who might have picked that book off the shelf and loved it as much as you did and I’d have gained another reader.”

XX

Whenever I am asked to donate a book for a raffle or gift basket, I gladly hand one over. I’ve been known to leave copies of my books in waiting rooms and in lounges at the airport. Like the friend who loaned one of my books to another woman, or a book left at a campground or in a waiting room, it might put my book in the hands of someone who wouldn’t have purchased one or even known about me before they found that book.

XX

And that leads me back to the swag. I have several things from pens, which everyone uses, to mini-flashlights and small notebooks. As long as those pens are sitting on someone’s desk there’s a chance they might check out the website listed on it. Same goes for the flashlight, or the notebook. All of the above options lead to name recognition and isn’t that what we are after?

XX

Goodreads shouldn’t be overlooked either. Set up an account, find other books, review books you’ve read. It costs nothing and is another great way to get your book noticed. Goodreads is an American social cataloging website and a subsidiary of Amazon that allows individuals to search its database of books, annotations, quotes, and reviews. Users can sign up and register books to generate library catalogs and reading lists.

XX

One option with a price tag that I do pony up for is ALL AUTHOR. Basic membership is free and includes listing in their author directory and up to four books on their site with a tweet scheduler. I have the Pro plan which is $59 for 6 months and includes the above as well as all my books listed in their book directory, my own author page, an author interview, access to the graphics creation platform for any of my books (I can add my own text to the graphics formats), regular tweets for all featured books, and weekly graphics for all featured books. Check out their X page to see what they do with your book tweets - https://twitter.com/allauthor. You can list any free or 99¢ books on their Book Deals page. Pro membership includes one featured book for the 6 months and you can add additional featured books for just $24. Quite a lot of stuff for not a lot of money. The regular tweets, which they set up and you can retweet or copy and paste to other social media sites, as well as the graphics they send or you log in to create for yourself  are an easy way to keep your books out there where they can be seen. They also run a monthly book cover contest which is another free way to get your book out there to be seen by eyes that might not see it elsewhere. If you’re challenged about formatting tweets, they do it for you. Not only do they tweet your books with animated graphics, they also send you lists of suggested tweets for all your featured books. Does any of this lead to sales? Good question. But they do lead to putting my books out there to be seen and that’s an important first step in getting a sale.

XX

Check out the give-away experiences of these other authors. Maybe they’ll have a few great ideas for you to start off your new year with.

Dr Bob Rich

Victoria Chatham

Connie Vines

    The dog shivered in the chill of approaching night and gazed hopefully toward the open doorway to the bakery. She was so hungry, and it seemed more like days than just hours since she’d scavenged the remains of a hamburger a kid had tossed toward a refuse basket but missed. She had to get back to her nest of blankets soon, but sometimes they tossed stuff out before they closed for the day, and she didn’t want to miss out. There were more mouths to feed than her own, but right now, it was her belly aching with hunger.

   Suddenly a shadow darkened the doorway. She cringed lest she be seen and shooed away.

    “Oh, sweet pup. Are you hungry again? Wait here.” The voice was familiar.

    Not the angry woman who manned the counter. That was the shooer who didn’t like dogs. This was the owner.

    Tentatively, the pooch stepped into the light and waited as commanded. And her patience was rewarded. The man came out cooing gentle sounds and set a bowl of milk on the ground for her to lap up. Which she did. Rather too eagerly since she managed to spill a few precious drops.

    She tried not to cringe when the hand reached out to her. This man was kind. She could hear it in his voice, but she’d been hit too many times to take anything for granted. His fingers were just a fleeting touch at first, ruffling the matted fur beneath her chin. She decided to trust him, and the light touch became a scratch behind her ears where she liked it best. She leaned into it and enjoyed the rare moment of connection.

    Then he stood. “I’ve gotta be closing up, girl. But I brought you a little something to keep you going through the night.”

    Miracle of miracles, his little something was a fat roll filled with scrambled eggs.

    She took a moment to look up at him before snatching the gift in her mouth. She hoped he could see her gratitude in that moment before he shut the door and the light went out.

    “What do you think?” Otto asked his wife as he wiped up the gravy on his plate.

    “She’s probably got fleas,” his wife replied.

    “That’s what a bath in flea shampoo is for,” he countered. He’d watched the abandoned dog coming to his back door for a while now. Too long for her to have a home to go back to. He’d asked around, but no one knew where she’d come from. And winter was coming. She’d have a hard time staying warm when the snow and ice started.

    “What if she snaps at people?” Doris was looking for all the arguments.

    “She’s never once snapped at me, and I can tell she’s been mistreated enough so she’d have good reason not to trust anyone.”

    Doris harrumphed and turned to start running hot water into the sink. The discussion was over. For now.

    “Come inside, girl. We’re closed and it’s just me and Doris.” The man encouraged her with a piece of bread. She reached for it, but he kept moving it just out of reach.

    The dog thought about her nest of blankets and wondered, if she followed the man inside, would she get trapped there and not be able to get back to her bed. But her belly hadn’t ached in days. Not since the man had started bringing her milk and eggs every night. And tonight, he had a piece of meat folded into that piece of bread. It was tempting.

     He’d never hit her or scolded. She decided to trust him and followed him as he backed into the warmth of his bakery kitchen. To her amazement she discovered a whole bowl of food sitting next to a fluffy looking bed. Was this supposed to be for her? Just for her? But it wasn’t just her. She had others to think about.

    She whimpered and looked back at the still open doorway.

    “What is it, girl?”

    She hurried back out, then glanced back.

    “You want to show me something?” he asked.

    She hurried a little, still glancing back. But he was following her. All the way to her nest of blankets where three tiny black noses popped up at her approach.

    “Oh, my.” The man fell onto his knees and gathered the entire bundle of blankets up into his arms. He stopped to put a gentle hand on her head. “You are a momma. I see that now. Well, then, let’s get all of you in where it’s warm.”

    For the first time in months, Dog felt like wagging her tail as she followed the man back to the warmth of his kitchen and the food waiting in that bowl.

    “Doris?” the man called out as soon as he’d closed the door, shutting out the night and the cold and all the things she’d been afraid of before.

    She had a good feeling about this man. He had not only fed and petted her gently, but he’d accepted her puppies without question. She ran to the full bowl and began eating. She needed her strength so her puppies would have milk and this man had made it happen.

    “What now,” a woman came into the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. “Oh, My,” she crooned, just like the man had when he’d seen her babies.

    “Meet Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail,” the man said, easing the puppies into his wife’s arms.

    “They aren’t rabbits,” she protested, but buried her face in the furry bundle anyway.

    “So, name them anything you like. This is their mom. The pooch I was telling you about. I’m going to call her Biscuit because she loves our biscuits.”

    “I guess we get to have a family Christmas after all,” the woman said, her voice still muffled by the now squirming bundle of puppies.

    Biscuit took one last lap and went to settle herself at the man’s feet. He was hers now. And she had people to love.

XX

XX

XX

I'd like to wish all my readers a wonderful, joyfilled holiday season and we'll see you in the New Year!

And now check out the other gifts our Blog Hoppers have prepared for you.

XX

XXX

X

XX

Dr. Bob Rich

Connie Vines

Diane Bator

Anne Stenhouse

Judith Copek

Helena Fairfax

Victoria Chatham

Our November Round Robin Blog Hop is asking us how do we help our readers feel like they are there, not just on the scene but feeling like they are part of it.

Poets seem to get this instinctively – when was the last time you read or heard a poem that overburdened you with detail and still made you feel what the writer intends you to feel? And yet authors of prose often do it way too often. Well known, best-selling authors often get away with it just because of their previous fame, but those of us who walk (or write) in their shadows can lose readers if we indulge ourselves. Some authors I once loved in earlier books, even best-selling authors, have become so enamored of their description, or worse, repetitive, that I’ve stopped reading their work entirely. Some do laudably exhaustive research to get their stories right, but then forget the golden rule of description in favor of including ALL the details of that research. The reader is not so in love with too much detail, nor are they enraptured by the research that should have only informed the scene setting, and this is a quick way to lose readers, even ones who love your characters, your premise and your genre.

XX

So, what is this golden rule?  LESS IS BETTER!

XX

Years ago, when I was starting out, a many-times-published author gave me a hint about choosing whose POV to show any scene from. She said always ask yourself “who has the most to lose?” It is remarkably helpful in POV choices, but it’s equally applicable to scene setting. Which details are the most important? What detail is going to show up later as a critical piece? Which detail is going to make the reader feel like they were right there in the story, not watching it on the news? Those are the details we need to include. The rest are just the author, in love with their words and getting carried away.

XX

Gone With the Wind, which is considered a classic, might never get published today for a variety of reasons we don’t need to discuss here. But the opening line of the book: "Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were." is classic and a perfect example of less is better. Rather than describe Scarlett in detail we hear only that she’s not beautiful, but she has charm. A lot of it, if the Tarleton twins are a reliable example. Unfortunately, that pithy opening is followed by several pages of numbing detail. Of course, when that book was released, the list of new books out each year was far, far less than today. Today we live in a world of soundbites where everyone wants everything yesterday. We can’t spend a whole chapter describing the world we are creating. We need to grab the reader’s attention in those first few sentences and before the end of that first page. Otherwise, we don’t have a new reader.

XX

But even once we’ve got our reader turning pages, we can still bore them with tedious detail. I’ll create two samples here to illustrate what I’m getting at:

XX

The new and improved Tabitha:

xx

1)         Tabitha pulled the new dress she’d purchased at the mall when she went shopping with her best friend over her head and snugged it down, reached back to zip the back closed. She preened in front of full-length mirror her father had recently installed behind her door. Too bad dresses didn’t come with designer labels like sport clothes did. It would have been nice if everyone knew just how extravagant her purchase had been. It might boost her prestige.

            She especially liked the careful detailing around the neck edge that matched the hem, and the color which reflected the blue of her eyes. Long inserts ran from the neck, down past her waist to flare into a deliciously swishing skirt, and the little cap sleeves added to the charm. The best part was how it showed off her slender arms and sexy curves. Curves she’d worked long and hard to achieve with a rigorous diet and way too many sweaty hours in the gym.

            “Oh, Sweetie. It’s beautiful,” her mother said entering the room and coming to stand behind her where she could run her fingers over the soft fabric that caressed Tabitha’s skin.

XX

2)         Tabitha slipped the expensive new dress over her head, and hurried over to preen in front of the full-length mirror. Her only regret at the cost was that dresses didn’t come with designer labels like sport clothes that announced their lineage and value.

            The color reflected the blue of her eyes, and the best part? It showed off the curves she’d worked so hard to achieve with a starvation diet and hours in the gym.

            She felt beautiful. For the first time in her life.

    XX       

Which example most appeals to a reader eager to get to the action?  We learn that Tabitha spent a fortune on the dress and clearly hopes to impress people. We know she worked hard for her current shape and that she’s beautiful, in both options, but the second option does so with less baggage to bog it down.

XX

Or how about Bob’s Revenge?

1)         Bob couldn’t wait until work was over. Evening came too soon this time of year. But finally, it arrived, and he hurried to punch his time-card and be on his way. Careful not to break any speed laws and attract undue attention, he drove up to a lookout he’d scouted a few weeks before. He parked his beat-up pickup truck where it wouldn’t be spotted by anyone passing by and stepped down. Going around to the rear and dropping the tailgate, he opened his gun case and studied his options, only barely noticing that there was, thankfully, no wind.

             The oldest rifle was the one his parents had given him when he turned twelve and they decided he was old enough to hunt with his brothers. The next was the first one he’d purchased himself with money he’d earned hauling and unloading pallets for Old Man Wilson at the local hardware store. He’d lost count of the numbers of tools and hanks of rope, boxes of nails and array of fishing lures he’d hung on boards or stacked on shelves to earn that rifle.

            Two more had come along as money allowed in between putting shoes on baby feet, buying ever bigger cars to accommodate the growing family and paying his mortgage. But he was free of all that now. Cindy had left him for someone else. Good riddance. She’d been drag from the start and the only reason they’d married at all was her father standing on Bob’s childhood porch with his own shotgun in his hands. Bob had gotten his precious baby pregnant and he was going to do right by her. Well, that was a thing of the past. Now all he had to do was unburden himself of the shockingly high child support and alimony payments.

            Bob selected the newest gun. One he’d gone out on a limb for, but that had the capabilities of the best sniper rifles out there. He’d be able to see the salt shaker on her kitchen table with this new baby.           

XX

2)         It was a calm evening with just the right amount of light when he parked at the lookout he’d scouted, in a spot he wasn’t likely to be noticed by anyone passing by. His heart raced as he dropped the tailgate to open his gun case. His eyes skimmed quickly past the oldest rifle his parents had given him when he turned twelve and all the ones’ he’d purchased for himself in between putting shoes on baby feet, and buying ever bigger cars to accommodate a growing family.

            Cindy had left him for someone else. He should just say good riddance and move on. She’d been drag from the start. Except now he had to unburden himself of the shockingly high alimony and child support payments that would continue to burden him for years.

            He reached for the newest gun. He’d be able to see the saltshaker on her fancy new kitchen table with this baby.         

XX

All the extra detail is certainly explanatory about Bob, his history and his intentions, but winnowing out all the details that don’t impact his current course of action gets us to that action sooner and keeps the reader more firmly engaged.

XX

So, my bottom line? Less is better. Your setting should be a SKETCH not a photograph. Pick the details that you absolutely must have for the reader to know what’s happening or about to happen. Toss the rest even when it sounds lovely.  Your scene is a sketch, not a photograph. I could have added more senses. To the second, I did. Bob’s heart is pounding, there’s no wind and just enough light. These are important for his mission. The history of his gun purchases and why he married Cindy in the first place can, if needed, be sprinkled in later. In the first, instead of Tabitha’s mother telling her and the reader she’s beautiful (mothers would say that anyway) I have Tabitha FEELING beautiful, and that emotion is going to make the reader care more than her mother’s praise.

XX

So, now it’s time to hop on over and see how other authors choose to show their settings.

XX

Dr. Bob Rich 

Diane Bator

Anne Stenhouse

Connie Vines

Helena Fairfax